am i in love? i cant be sure myself...love is too strong for a feeling.but all i know tt i am missing him. he was thr when i felt pressurized with my studies. listen to me attentively when i speak out my point of view. chatted with me on the phone til late night.what's more can i ask frm a man?!though i hate the way he look at some of my girlfriends, but, he tried to understand 'em. he tried to understand me. he changed his perception of 'em when i've explained things to him.it shows so much tt he is willing.
me to be blame.cos i've always think..."this is just the honeymoon period..." i know tt not all men hv the same kinda attitude except for jerks,assholes and watsoeva name you can call it. maybe tt pt of time..i nd space to breathe.i wanna spend time for myself more and pamper myself with lotsa stuffs.i wanna spend time with my family and girlfriends.or maybe partly we are getting too close... and it scares me off i guess. im afraid i cant be the best person in his life. coz i know he wld be able to get someone better than me.he deserves tt. darn..this is madness!
i gotta be honest here..i was dating other guys too tt point of time besides him.at one splurt of the moment,i went BONKERS and i shut myself frm all of 'em and tt includes him.i know im bad. sincerely am sorry..i'm glad to hv heard tt he is doing fine right now.hope he'll be doing fine with his new posting for his job.
heck..i dunno how to tell him abt it.if he was meant to be mine..one day,he'll be.
what if this wld be my 2nd mistake? for nt trying? the first mistake happened 2 yrs bck. before i got bck together again with Wan.met dis nice dude... everything went on so nice for 2 mths and i just let it go like tt w/o trying to work it out.the problem was just fucking small.Arghh!!if only i had taken bck my words..if only...
ppl always have this wrong impression tt tattoed men are aint worth having.. but do you ppl really know the real 'em? some of 'em are way much better in terms of attitude when to be compared to guys who aint tattoed. yes...tattoo-ing is a sin. i believe we are able to advice 'em dlm landasan agama.they are nt tt heartless as what you ppl always see by the physical appearance.when they like or love someone,they respect tt person.they listens attentively and they apologise when even thou' they dont' hv to.they are true to you.stick by you. the probs you might facing with these kinda dudes maybe just a small matter to be solved. speaking for myself? my honest answer is a YES.
i dunno what is up with me tt point of time for being stubborn.am still happy for him indeed. now he is happily married.expecting their 1st child soon.i shld say congrats to him and his wife.
i just hope this aint another mistake tt i've made.i just wanna live life to the fullest and make full use of my life time for family,girlfriends and studies.as im nt sure when it is my time to go to the other world.time doesn't waits for me.
ibu said this once to me,"if you judge ppl,you hv no time to love 'em."
"Love isn't a decision.It's a feeling.If we could decide who we loved,it would be much simplier,but much less magical." -Trey Parker
"It is better to be hated for who you are than to be loved for what you are not." -Andre Gide
confessed at
5:19 PM
